Widow

Leave The Shadows

Filed in Grief, Inspirational, Widow by on June 3, 2017

leave the shadows behind. a better life is waiting for you. Mercia Tapping

Leaving the shadows in your life behind you is easier said than done. There are some dark events in our lives which change us forever.

The only question then becomes are you going to drag this around like a dead weight on your ankles, or strike out for a new, and better life? For myself as a widow, the word ” better” can seem unfathomable at times, but it is that belief which keeps me moving forward.

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It May Be Winter

Filed in Health, Life, Widow by on December 27, 2016

it may be chilly, but it is still good to be allive. Mercia Tapping

Most of us take being alive for granted, but all those who have had to battle illness or survived death of their loved ones, know that life can change in an instant. Therefore, celebrate being alive and think carefully about how you are going to spend this precious gift which you have been given.

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Hug A Friend

Filed in Friends, Inspirational, Love, Widow by on December 24, 2016

hug a friend this christmas! Mercia Tapping
I remember the Christmas after my husband died and I felt very much alone, and then having my doorbell ring unexpectedly more than once on Christmas Eve. It was friends with flowers, a card, a candle, or pot of homemade preserves, just calling in on me. Those hugs and extended hands and reminders of friendship touched me profoundly. And now I keep the ripple of love going by extending my hand to others.

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Remember When You Are In The Desert

Filed in Cancer, Grief, Hope, Inspirational, Love, Widow by on December 16, 2016

remember when you are in the desert, that one day you will find the oasis. Mercia Tapping

There have been times in the past when my life seemed very bleak indeed. I make no apologies for it. Watching my husband die of brain cancer and knowing there was no hope of survival, ranks right up there in events with no redemptive qualities. And yet…..in amongst the pain, I was shown immense love and caring by friends.

Who knew that people could be so wonderful? And my husband’s long 28 month illness gave us all the time needed to reaffirm our love for each other and be complete when he died. I won’t pretend it was easy, but despite the desert, there did indeed exist some oases. So if you are in one of those unrelenting deserts, be alert for those oases; they will help you regain your humanity and remind you of who you are.

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There Is No Time Limit On Grief

Filed in Friends, Grief, Love, Widow by on December 6, 2016

there is no time limit on grief. but remember your loved ones do not want you to grieve forever. Mercia tapping.

I remembered with nostalgia and twinges of pain on Thanksgiving that I had been widowed for over five years. But I could also hear my husband’s voice telling me to go out and enjoy the day. Then I reflected about all the people who had shown me such great kindness over the years by inviting me to share in their family celebrations. In so doing, my friendships have deepened.

When you lose a loved one you carry pictures of them in your heart forever. But I also know that those who are now in heaven do not want us to be in pain over their departure for the rest of our lives. Grief is a strange emotion, it has no time limit.

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Only When You Love Yourself

Filed in Happiness, Hope, Inspirational, Love, Widow by on October 7, 2016

ony when you love yourself enough, will you find the love that you deserve. Mercia Tapping

Quite frequently I have conversations with fellow widows as to when they will be ready to find love again in their lives. What I am about to say applies to more people than widows. I think like attracts like. So if you are down on yourself and life in general, then that is the kind of person or people you will attract into your life; other birds with wounded wings. But as you heal yourself you find you want to spend more time with more cheery and upbeat people. No longer does misery loves company work for you. So work on yourself first and the rest will follow.

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Let The Tears Fall Softly

Filed in God, Grief, Hope, Inspirational, Life, Love, Widow by on September 24, 2016

let the tears fall softly in your grief and let the arms of God embrace you. Mercia Tapping

There are those who like me have lost one or more of those who they loved most dearly here on earth. There is no timetable to grief or any way to do it right. Just trust that God is still here and looking out for you.

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Love In The Evening

Filed in Cancer, Happiness, Inspirational, Joy, Laughter, Life, Love, Widow by on September 23, 2016

love in the evening of our lives is still so sweet. Mercia Tapping

Today is the 5th anniversary of my husband’s death from brain cancer. Ours was a second marriage and he gave me the gift of unconditional love. Our marriage was the sweetest of the years of my life and for those years I am truly thankful.

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Being Stuck In The Present

Filed in Courage, Happiness, Health, Hope, Inspirational, Love, Widow by on September 1, 2016

being stuck in the present is suffering and to take on change is terrifying, but change we must. Mercia Tapping

There is an expression “The devil we know…” which underscores the point that a completely unknown, but different future is a very unsettling thought. This is why so many of us stay rooted in the present, even though we know it is not good for us or what we really want. People can stay in job or home situations which are not healthy for them because of the fear of change.

In my youth, I was in a very unhealthy marriage and it took every vestige of courage I could muster to extricate myself from it, since I believed in the sacred nature of my marriage vows. Thirteen years later I met my husband, now deceased. My years with him were undoubtedly the happiest of my life and where I discovered the meaning of unconditional love. But the point is, if I didn’t have the hope and belief that I was worth more than the terrible situation that I was in, I would have never taken those first steps which gave me years of profound happiness. Think about this.

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Negative Thoughts Create Your Reality

Filed in Cancer, Courage, Health, Hope, Inspirational, Life, Widow by on August 24, 2016

negative thoughts create your reality. banish them ad replace them with uplifting ones. Mercia Tapping

So much of our happiness in life depends on the battle for the mind. And it requires mental discipline. I will give you an example. I have been putting a tremulous toe as a widow into the dating pool. A pretty common reaction by men is they don’t know they could keep up with me, especially intellectually. At first I was discouraged. And then I thought ” Hey girl, celebrate! Two years ago you were fighting for your life and with chemo brain you could not think your way out of a paper bag. So celebrate that you are BACK, and trust that the right man will show up in good time” I share this with you to show that keeping a positive outlook on life is a mental discipline, which can over time, just be habitual.

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